My Goals for this Blog...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

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   I feel that I need to write my feelings, which will help me grow and heal emotionally and spiritually. It's really strange because I have such an extreme history of being "painfully" shy. And there is no other way to describe it, my inability to speak or even think of something to say is very painful! My natal chart has an emphasis on communication of all things. I have wondered for years, I first started studying astrology as a teenager, how this can be so. I had others do my chart, by mail and online, who suggested a career in communication. I thought that's ridiculous! They had not met me, so they didn't know about my inability to speak up. And then there's the fear of writing, then I tell myself I can't. I remember thinking, as a young woman, how I wanted to say that I was a 'published' author! Interesting, huh! OMG! So many conflicting emotions.

   I remember (Hmmmm, isn't that what old people say?) my first chat room, Phoenix Chat for SPIRIT eXpress with Zihna and Tasuate. Oh, wait a minute, I am old! 57 in October! Anyway, I paid for the class and there was a chat room we could participate in each week. I really wanted to do this, but I was so scared! Crazy? Yes. I typed a "hello" at the beginning and a "thank you" at the end, and that was about it. I don't think other people feel this way, do they? There must be someone out there as messed up as me, but like me, they will not put it out there. So we will never meet! This blog lets only me, the author read it! Maybe someday I will have the courage to make this a public blog. But I'm happy, I AM writing! And that's my goal. I've got to start somewhere.

So, my number one goal is to write my feelings each day, or as often as I can. Who knows? Maybe I will even write more than one blog day....we will see how it goes. It's always the hardest (most difficult) the first time, and it gets easier each time. I know I can do this, but only with help from my Angels and those who love me, both seen and unseen. So, with these goals in mind, I am putting it out there! Thank you dear ones! And my special thanks to Sheree Rainbolt Kren for not letting me lurk and making me write blogs on The Reiki Forum

I am Marsha!


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