Day 33 - Letting the Pain Go With Gratitude

Sunday, October 10, 2010

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*artwork by Adriane Enns*

I spent many years trying to fit in, to feel normal. I so didn’t want to be different. And just about the time I did feel normal someone would say, “What happened to you?” When I was young, not even in school yet, I had gone to bible school with the family next door. Everyone kept asking me the dreaded question. I told my friend’s mother and she said to just tell them “It’s none of your business!”

I was so great’full to her, suddenly I felt powerful. During my life, I very seldom ever said it because I was too concerned about hurting someone else’s feelings but it was ok if my feelings were hurt. Now how stupid is that? I know I will always be different and I certainly am unique, this will never change. I have come to accept it and I’m ok with it. Besides being normal is highly over-rated.

Now that I don’t have to live up to the “normal” standard, I can be who I really am. I will always care about other’s feelings, but not so much about whether or not they think I am normal. Aha! This is a perfect example of “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose” from “Me and Bobby McGee” written by Kris Kristofferson and first recorded by Roger Miller in 1970, which was later made famous by Janis Jopin. I remember this song because I was in high school at the time. Strange how some memories remain so clear and others are forever lost. Today is my birthday and I am 57!

I am living and learning, turning the pages in the book of my life, and talking my story. I am letting go of the pain with gratitude. Go Gratitude!

I am Gratitude! I am Marsha!



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