Day 36 - Memories of Gratitude

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

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*image by Stacey Robyn ~ Choice, Divinity and Grace
It’s easy to be thankful for the really big things, like being able to walk everyday. In reflection, today I would like to write about some of the smaller things I am thankful for that have made a difference in my life. One of the things that comes to mind is a gift I received from Gail. She knew I was a tea drinker so she gave me a gift basket with Earl Gray tea, which I love, and chamomile tea in it. I quickly drank all the Earl Gray, but kept the chamomile anyway. Even dragging it around with me to Alaska and even to Ireland. I always bring a few baggies filled with tea where ever I go because I love my tea and some places it’s extremely difficult to find a good cup of tea, like Utah! Anyway I started drinking it here in Ireland and I was so surprised because I really enjoyed it and I’ve been drinking it ever sense. So today I would like to thank Gail for the small but never the less wonderful change she made in my life.

There was another time in my life when I was working at the English Language Center at a large private university in Colorado. I loved my job, because it was one of the few things that seemed to be working in my life at the time. I thought I had a good relationship with Norma, my boss, and that we were even becoming friends. That all changed when she hired her friend Nancy to work there. Of course, I learned later that she never considered me a friend anyway. I have often wondered what happened to her after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She traveled a lot and would always bring back a little something for me, she was a very kind and caring person. I still have an interesting ceramic cat she gave me that I have come to cherish over the years. I place my rings on it’s tail every time I take them off.

Then 911 happened, we all watched in horror on the TV in the student lounge. The students were terrified. I was terrified, I so wanted to go home that day. In the days that followed our students from many of the Arab countries lived in fear, they were afraid to even go shopping. It was a difficult time for everyone and we were no exception. My husband had gone to visit his dad in Oregon and I found it difficult to go home alone.

In the time that followed my husband, who was self employed, had no contracts and no prospects because the computer jobs in Denver disappeared literally overnight after the towers fell. I wasn’t making enough to cover all of our monthly expenses so we lived on credit thinking the jobs would come back. But they didn’t! One of the most difficult things I ever had to do was sell all of my things at a yard sale and move into a single wide. We lost our pride and dignity with the house. We filed bankruptcy and became a statistic. I learned that it’s the treasures in my heart that are important not the earthly things I have collected. After all it’s the only thing I will be able to take with me when my path ends here in this world.

As for Nancy, I learned that she was also a wonderful person, I have never met anyone like her. When the time came for me to move on, I asked her, “What could I do to improve my job performance?” And she told me, her comments were constructive and very helpful. I am forever in gratitude of her grace and honesty. I have since realized that sometimes people are nice to you at work because you work together not because they like you as a friend. I have wondered why I have trouble telling the difference. Could it be because I was an only child? Or because I have always been so shy and quiet. Either way I don’t think I had the early social development that I should have had. To this day I still watch everyone to try to figure out how to act. I wonder. . . Ahhh the rambling reflections of a not quite ‘old’ woman...

Walking and sharing my ever so humble path of gratitude! I am Marsha!



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