Day 40 - Living Joyfully in Gratitude

Sunday, October 17, 2010

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*image courtesy of Michael Benjamin*
 One time many years ago, I was parked on the street. When I returned, cars had parked in front of me and behind me, and they were so close I could not get out. I got really upset, left nasty notes on the windows. Tears were streaming down my face as I backed up into the car behind me and pulled forward till I hit the car in front of me and I kept doing this until I worked my way out. I was so mad I just didn’t care. I must have looked like a crazy woman! And I was, but I would never ever do anything like that now, because I have changed a lot over the years. Now the time has come for me to release this painful memory and to forgive myself. I am great’full for this lesson in my life.

I have been thinking a lot about complaining and yes I do have a long history. It seems like my dad was always complaining about something and my mom won’t say anything at all if she can’t find something wrong. She couldn’t speak a kind word or give a compliment if her life depended on it. What a pathetic and sad way to live. How is it that I can see this and she cannot? I know that the first step to changing something is recognizing it. Oh, and of course, how could I not be a complainer being raised like this? But I do see it, and I am aware of it, so do you know what that means? It means I can change it. Yay!

I think the last 40 days of living and being gratitude has been and will be so very important to changing this. I have noticed that where ever I am, I always find things to complain about. But then after I am gone from that time and place, I remember the things I did enjoy and the ones I didn’t not so much! Interesting isn’t it? I can’t believe the difference gratitude is making in my life, I am now more great’full about what I have, than I have ever been before. It is nothing short of miraculous!

And by the way, I even married a complainer. My husband, Kevin, complains about everything, and I do mean everything! I have always known that he was grouchy but now that I am recognizing this behavior, it seems extreme. He says all the time “I can’t have nice things.” I swear this is true, and by stating it not only does he believe it, it is exactly what he gets! He also talks about the ‘Smith Luck’. I could go on, but I won’t. When my husband and I go shopping for an example, it doesn’t seem to matter where we park, someone always parks so close on the drivers side that my husband has a hard time getting back into the car. Hmmm, why does this never happen to me? He complains of course, but then he hacks on the other car. I see this as being a reinforcement of what he is always receiving. How can it ever change if this is what he puts out there?

For me, being connected to the light is pure joy and I love being in the light with gratitude. I wonder if the complainers in my life have never known the light, maybe that is the problem? So they just don’t know what they are missing. Or maybe this is what they think complaining makes them happy. Do they think that incessant complaining will change things? Hah! Never the less, complaining only brings more of the same. How sad is that?

Gratitude brings more to be grateful about. It increases your abundant life. Lack of gratitude, or complaining, brings little to rejoice about. Complainers always find that they have little good in their life, or they do not enjoy what they do have.” ~ Louise Hay, Gratitude A Way of Life

It’s only 2 days to a new beginning and to completing 42 days of writing in gratitude. Wow! I am so great’full. I am looking forward to seeing which new doors will open for me. I know whatever it is, it will be wonderful. I have decided to spend the next 42 days drawing and journaling all the things I am great’full for each day. Although I will still blog if the mood comes over me. I am also pondering the idea of trying to learn Tai Chi by watching a beginning DVD I have. By the end of 42 days I should be pretty good at it. We shall see.

The universe always gives me what I really want, so today, I choose to be totally immersed in gratitude, because I know ‘The universe always gives us what we believe we deserve.’ I choose to accept every present given to me with pure joy and delight. Yes, I am gratitude!

Walking my path of gratitude with ever increasing ecstasy, I am Marsha.

P.S. Kevin are you listening?



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